when your words don’t dance

Imagine that today is Valentine’s Day and your Grooveshark playlist is on shuffle. You’re wearing red ruffles and listening to ‘Flaming Red Hair’ (the song known to your little brother as ‘hobbits dancing’), as you start to fling words through your swiftly typing fingers. You knock out two sentences before pausing to listen to ‘Tadarida’ from Batman Begins, and explain to your aforementioned little brother that this is NOT a Mater {from CARS} song. Then you redirect your attention to the screen.

This is not called writer’s block.

It’s honestly not that enigmatic ailment that strikes terror into the hearts of NaNoWriMo participants. You’re writing. But nothing is poignant, no memories or hidden truths or profound one-liners strike the gong of your heart and vibrate out the ends of your fingers and onto the page. You try to explain why Valentine’s Day makes you want to celebrate, even though you’re single. Why ‘single’ doesn’t equal ‘alone’. You tell stories about people you love. But something is missing; the very love you feel– the love that you’re endeavoring to siphon into your words.

So when your dad calls you to help him move a desk out to the storage building, you relinquish the computer to your young sister who begins to watch all the animated Hallmark Valentine’s Day cards.

You pull your cowboy boots over your heart-patterned socks and load the desk onto the truck. The air smells deep and wide in the country when it’s winter time. Much deeper and wider than your thoughts, not to mention your words. You know you won’t be publishing those you wrote earlier. Maybe someday you’ll reach into a previously-undiscovered pocket and pull out the phrases you were looking for. Perhaps then you’ll paste them on a blank-paper canvas and admire them for hours and guard them from graphite or ink smudges. But for now, you listen to Owl City sing ‘If My Heart Was a House’ and borrow a bit of the genius of others.

“There’s a lot of love out there, man.” -Filmore (CARS)

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2 responses

  1. liberanosamalo

    Ah yes; many people seem to believe that the only kind of love is romantic love. Very one dimensional.

    February 16, 2011 at 4:38 am

  2. If I was a better writer I could have written this; my sentiments this Valentines Day resembled yours so much! 🙂 I love your thoughts, and your writing is beautiful.

    February 21, 2011 at 4:02 pm

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